Today's Pause for Thought can be found here http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/wake-up-to-wogan/pause-for-thought/thursday/ and it got me thinking about my own obsession for striving for the best - perfectionism.
Perfectionism can be a heavy cross to bear and for those of you that suffer with this affliction you will understand when I say it is something that I battle against for my own well being, and those around me. So, to keep my sanity, I regularly tell myself that 'good enough will do'. Of course I don't really believe it ! and of course I'm sure my definition of 'only just good enough' is actually 'quite good' in other peoples eyes;-)
Since the arrival of Star I have found the urge to have everything perfect for him to be very strong but I know that this is not the right behaviour to display to him. It doesn't breed happiness and contentment which above all else is surely what we as parents strive for in our children. On the other hand I don't want my son to grow up doing the bare minimum in anything that he does. This is a disease of modern society that I loath - how often do you really get good service ? So where is the right balance ?
The answer came to me in a typically straightforward manner. Star was given a gift when he was born from a lovely friend. It was a CD called Silver Balloon which can be found here http://www.silverballoon.com/index.html , and it became the soundtrack to his early life. The songs on the CD contain his name in the lyrics and the songs are just fantastic. One of our favourite songs teaches the alphabet, numbers and colours...and it's title...'BE THE BEST THAT WE CAN BE'
I think you know my take on this as I too sufer from perfectionism, but I have learned that this afflication is very harmful. It is us poor perctionists that are the number one contentor for depression. After Finlay was born I so wanted everything to be just right to be a perfect mum. But untilmatly this can not be, as I was spending too much time trying far to hard and too little time just being with my children and enjoying them.
ReplyDeleteI have learned though hard work and persisitnace "that being happy doesnt mean being perfect, it means that you have learned to look past the imperfections". I have that and my No one way to be the perfect mummy, but a million ways to be a good one on my chalk wall in the kitchen and in moments of need go in for a nice cup of tea and a read. Also it isnt a perfect world and I am preparing my children to go out in to the world with all its faults, so I guess by being imperfect I am just giving them a taste of things to come!!!
You are a great mum, the ones that dont even contemplate these sorts of things are the ones you should worry about.
Oh and BBC Radio Two is on in our car at the moment and the boys sing along, what are you going to do with out Terry from Jan?
Couldn't agree more. And as for Terry going I also love Chris Evens but am a little worried about drive time...
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more. And as for Terry going I also love Chris Evens but am a little worried about drive time...
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