It's Been Quite A Day...

Warning.  This post contains New Year Goal #4 information.  


I would like to think that, in some small way, I have been missed today.  You see, I have been absent from blog comments, blog posts and twitter until late this afternoon and now I'm here to tell you why...


It's nothing earth shattering so don't get too excited, but we went for another IUI attempt today.  I haven't blogged about it this time round as I found last time I became a tad obsessed, so have tried to put it to the back of my mind.  Not easy.  At all.  Last time was a miserable failure.  Not only was I not pregnant but I only had a 25 day cycle which is both unheard of for me, and not helpful in reproductive terms.  I had also, with your help, done a spectacularly good job of convincing myself that it was going to be a successful attempt, so when it wasn't I was shocked, and more worryingly disproportionately upset about it.  

The 25 day cycle threw all our plans out of the window as The Daddy was due to be away this week.  Fortunately he was able to come back a day early last night so all was not lost.  So, this morning we packed Star off to the nursery for the day and headed up to London.  The clinic were running late so we had to wait for an hour before The Daddy was called into action.  We then popped out to Starbucks for tea and cake before returning for my bit.  Now the thing is, this IUI is supposed to be painless, and whilst ttc Star it was.  A little uncomfortable but certainly not painful.  Since having Star however I think the weight of carrying him around must have displaced some of my 'lady bits' inside ( I had an elective c-section so it was nothing to do with labour, and pushing, and stitches and all that-euww!)  I have now had one smear test, and three IUI attempts since Star and every time it has been SO painful that it takes all of my self control (and I have ALOT of that) and jaw clenching to stop myself blubbing.  Since the first IUI of this time around I have taken two heavy duty paracetamols whilst at Starbucks and it does just take the edge off but it's still without doubt the most painful thing I have ever experienced.  And all the while I'm thinking 'making a baby shouldn't be like this'.


Anyway, we left the clinic at 1pm and decided that as we didn't have to pick Star up until 6pm we should make the most of it, and went to our favourite local restaurant for lunch.  It's a fabulous little Italian called Ruchetta in Wokingham which we frequent as often as possible.  We had a couple of courses, and I had a couple of G&T's (knowing that my egg is currently floating free and not in contact with my bloodstream in any way) which is a very rare thing for me.  It was a lovely way to de stress from the mornings activities.


We arrived home at about 4pm and picked up Star a little later.  He'd had a fun day, had eaten well, slept well, made us valentine cookies and a card and greeted us with his usual excitement.  It's then that I remembered why I'm putting myself through all this...

It's Been Quite A Day...

Tea and a chat

Having just read The Madhouse's last post, in part about tea I thought I would share this, my favourite tea quotation from William Gladstone...

If you are cold, tea will warm you; 

if you are too heated, it will cool you; 

if you are depressed, it will cheer you; 

if you are excited, it will calm you.

This is so very apt for me, describing my relationship with tea perfectly.  There have been many, many occasions throughout my life when I don't know what I would have done without it, my ever present friend.  I've just read that back and think I sound like a proper sado !

Now that we've done the tea, it's time for the chat.  I feel the need for a good catch up again.  I have been in Devon, without much internet access since last Monday and got back yesterday so feel totally out of touch with you all. So here is a whistle stop tour of what's been going on in my world...

Sewing - I now have a machine ! A Brother ES 2020 if that means anything to any of you.  I had an unexpected little windfall, and rather than fritter it away I thought I would get a machine.  I also have some fabric, and some thread so I'm all ready to start the online sewing course that I subscribed to earlier this month.

Duck Feeding -   I have managed it a whole three times since the new year...not good.  But in my defence we have had inclement weather and I have been in Devon for a week so I'm back on the case, which started with a little outing this afternoon. The Daddy even joined us and we went into the cafe for tea and cake before coming home :D  Easily pleased !

Drawing - miserable failure I'm afraid.  I have flicked through my book and unpacked the box of 'equipment'.  That's it.

Baby Making - An even more miserable failure.  I'm already taking the drugs for another go next month, and will be going for scanning the week after next.  I don't know whether it will work out though as The Daddy has to be away on a  course at the time he may be needed so all in all not good.  I'm REALLY cheesed off as I was convinced we were going to be successful this time.  Unrealistic ?  probably, but that's how I felt.  So cheesed off with it am I that at the moment I am a whisker away from abandoning the whole thing :(  I'm sure I'll get over it...

Last but not least Star has developed a nasty eczema type rash all over his trunk, and less so on his arms and legs.  Nothing on his hands, feet, bum or face.  It doesn't appear to bother him but it bothers me.  It started a couple of months ago with a few small patched and has gradually increased but seems to have gone mad over the last week or so.  I need to get to the bottom of what is causing it but am slightly confused at the moment.  A couple of months ago we started making his porridge with cows milk, and at the time I thought his poo turned slightly green, but my mother said to give it time for his system to get used to it so I persisted with it.  The poo situation improved, and as he has had cows milk formula, yoghurts, fromage frais and cheese for months I assumed it wasn't to blame.  But as it's the only 'untreated' cows milk he's had I am now wondering if it is causing the eczema.  I have started making his porridge with goats milk today to see if that makes a difference, but I'm not convinced it will.  I'm really worried he's developed a dairy allergy, as he has also been quite 'snotty' since he was a baby, and dairy can do this.  We'll see.

For anyone that has tagged me in a meme since the new year, and I know there are a few of you, I do apologise for my tardiness in responding.  I do intend to participate...sometime...

  

 

Tea and a chat

Goal #4 update

Hopefully if I put something related to goal #4 in the title of these kind of posts anyone sick of hearing about our pursuit of baby No 2 can pass on by without frustration or annoyance.  So, you have been warned...


A quick update then on where we are. I've been for three scans this week, and yesterday had a follicle measuring 18.8mm which means it's ripe and ready.  So at 1.30 this morning (I'm sooo tired)  I injected myself with something akin to lutenising hormone.  The clinic specifiy the time so that ovulation occurs at a precise time to coincide with when you are having the IUI procedure.  I am booked in for 11.30 tomorrow with hubbie required at 10am.  


I may be being overly optimistic but I have a really good feeling about this month.  I am feeling positive, fit and healthy, the follicle looks really good, and as for the timing, the last, and only, time we had an IUI treatment on day 15 of my cycle (which it will be tomorrow) was when Star was conceived.  And that was also on a Sunday...so it's all good !

  

Goal #4 update

New Year Resolution #3

OK, well, I was planning to do our second duck feeding walk of the year this morning, but it as sooooo cold I thought that Star's cheeks would freeze, not to mention his hands that he continually pulls the mittens from.  So I decided to postpone.  No need to become obsessive, as is my natural inclination.  I have been once in the last four days, I have three days left in which to go again to meet my 'aspirational target' of two duck feedings per week (what has my life become ?!) and only then if it is the right thing to do for Star and me.


No progress yet on the sewing front but as soon as I have finished this post I will be braving the cold to retrieve the sewing machine from the shed.  Steps and all that.


And so to the next goal on my list...


3.  Start pencil drawing


Yes, it's another creative one.  I have always been creative, but have not always given myself the time or opportunity to express  it.  So, this goal is another attempt at reclaiming something of myself, the self that gets lost in motherhood.  


I haven't done any kind of painting/drawing since I was about 13.  I loved art at school but my parents decreed that I should not waste 'an option' on a non academic subject.  I was quite well blessed in the brains department and therefore they couldn't see any benefit in gaining O level art rather than, say, history or geography.  Before I gave it up, the only kind of painting I was any good at was abstract.  When I say good, I didn't get it but my teachers would all rave about it.  I still don't get abstract art and therefore have no wish to do it.  It seems pointless and totally boring to me.  However I was also good at pencil drawing.  Largely only from photos and pictures, but hey, it's a start !  And it is to this start that I plan to return.


Today, I took delivery of a 'Windsor & Newton Complete Sketching Art Set' and no, this is not a sponsored post, I paid for it all myself.  And here it is...

Before I start I am also awaiting delivery of a 'beginners guide to pencil drawing' style book.  This is something of a comfort blanket I think, but I would also like to understand the technicalities of drawing as I don't think I have ever actually been taught how to draw.  The book should arrive any day, and then...I will begin.


I don't have any particular projects in mind but would like to do some sketches of Star and the dogs if I feel I can do them justice.  I would also like to attempt the view from our garden room window.  But I have plenty of getting up to speed to do before then.


So there we are, goal number three posted for posterity.  I'm off to the shed...

New Year Resolution #3