My Favourite Photo

Well, I still have a list of posts as long as my arm that due to snow I haven't succeeded in ticking off yet.  WHat has snow got to do with it I hear you ask.  Well The Daddy and my stepson have both been at home and have upset our routine, and with it went blogging time.  Anyway, they are out at the theatre this evening, Star is in bed, dinner is taken care of so I have time for a quick post.  And as it has to be quick it will be this one.  The photo meme.


I was very kindly tagged by the lovely MakeDoMum  and Kelly which was just as well as I'd been desperate to have a go at this one.  I had a particular photo in mind, knowing in an instant which one I should post, BUT as yet I have been unable to find it in digital form.  I know I have it on a disk somewhere but The Daddy has this really annoying habit of 'tidying up' and putting things away in the most unlikely places.  So, I will post it when I find it, but in the meantime I am posting my 2nd favourite photo, and here it is...

It's not very original, it's not very artistic, it's not funny or moving but it captures a special moment in time for me.  This is Star when he was about six hours old. I like it because he looks so peaceful.  I like it because he looks, and was, and still is, so very handsome.  I like the scale my mum's hand gives.  I like the way his hands are crossed and holding on to the blanket...I don't know why but I always think of angel wings.  I like it because it was taken at a time of immense happiness.  Star was born by elective section which went absolutely to plan and was fantastic from start to finish. He was perfect.  My family had just arrived following a 160 mile journey to come and see us at the first opportunity.  I was showing off my new born son to my family. It had been a long and arduous journey to get here.  I felt euphoric.


When, after bad day or night with Star, I question my decision to have a child, or whenever I question whether to go through it all again I look at this photo...and I remember why.


I'm not going to tag anyone in particular.  Many have done it already, and I don't want anyone to be left out, so if you haven't done this yet, and would like to, take this as a tag for you.

My Favourite Photo

New Year Resolution #4 - The Big One

Well, here it is, the big one.  The all encompassing obsession that will persist until I succeed.  The goal that will in all likelihood cause massive stress and emotional upheaval, for who knows how long ?


4.  Have another baby


I have posted before about my pursuit of this aim here so won't duplicate other than to say that getting pregnant is not a straightforward process for us.  Here is a quick run down of what is involved...

• Take drugs days 2 -6 of cycle
• Go to clinic for internal scans every other day from day 9 of cycle until day before ovulation
• Inject self with ovulation inducing hormone at 1am
• Go to clinic on day of ovulation for DH to 'produce a sample', wait while it is 'prepared' and then endure the IUI procedure which feels like a smear test gone wrong. (If anyone is unsure what IUI is all about see here )

Whilst trying to conceive Star I also did extensive research into what else can be done to maximise the chances of not only getting pregnant but also to have a healthy, full term baby.  Before you read this list and decide that it is all unnecessary and over the top I should explain.  We have been very successful so far, getting pregnant twice in four attempts which is significantly better than general success rates which are usually quoted as somewhere between 10 and 20%.  When you consider that most IUI patients are younger than me that makes our success rate even more impressive.  So, you will understand why I am so committed to these extra measures...

• Take supplements as 'prescribed' following hair analysis.  I will do another post on this at some time as it is a very big subject and so very important.
• Eat organic food and avoid convenience foods and anything 'nutritionally void' as far as possible.
• Use chemical free toiletries
• Don't drink alcohol
• Have a monthly reflexology treatment
• Listen to the Innertalk fertilty CD.  This sounds of the sea but has subliminal messages about fertility.  I became pregnant both months that I listened to it.  
• Drink, cook with and bathe in filtered water.  Don't worry we have a whole house filter on the mains!
• Do daily positive visualisations.

I know to many of you these things will probably sound wacky in the extreme but I feel that I can't afford to leave a single stone unturned.  I don't know which of these is most important or significant (although I have my theories) so I don't pick and choose but do them all religiously.

So there we have it.  We have already started this particular journey as I am taking the drugs and will be going for my first scan on Mon 11th Jan.  I don't know yet how much I will be blogging about this, it may help manage the stress, but equally not posting about it may take my mind off of it, and whilst it is monumental to me I also know that it's just another blog post amongst thousands and don't want to push my readers away so we'll have to see how it goes.  In the meantime please think positive thoughts and keep everything crossed for us...for me, for The Daddy, and most of all for Star x

New Year Resolution #4 - The Big One

New Year Resolution #3

OK, well, I was planning to do our second duck feeding walk of the year this morning, but it as sooooo cold I thought that Star's cheeks would freeze, not to mention his hands that he continually pulls the mittens from.  So I decided to postpone.  No need to become obsessive, as is my natural inclination.  I have been once in the last four days, I have three days left in which to go again to meet my 'aspirational target' of two duck feedings per week (what has my life become ?!) and only then if it is the right thing to do for Star and me.


No progress yet on the sewing front but as soon as I have finished this post I will be braving the cold to retrieve the sewing machine from the shed.  Steps and all that.


And so to the next goal on my list...


3.  Start pencil drawing


Yes, it's another creative one.  I have always been creative, but have not always given myself the time or opportunity to express  it.  So, this goal is another attempt at reclaiming something of myself, the self that gets lost in motherhood.  


I haven't done any kind of painting/drawing since I was about 13.  I loved art at school but my parents decreed that I should not waste 'an option' on a non academic subject.  I was quite well blessed in the brains department and therefore they couldn't see any benefit in gaining O level art rather than, say, history or geography.  Before I gave it up, the only kind of painting I was any good at was abstract.  When I say good, I didn't get it but my teachers would all rave about it.  I still don't get abstract art and therefore have no wish to do it.  It seems pointless and totally boring to me.  However I was also good at pencil drawing.  Largely only from photos and pictures, but hey, it's a start !  And it is to this start that I plan to return.


Today, I took delivery of a 'Windsor & Newton Complete Sketching Art Set' and no, this is not a sponsored post, I paid for it all myself.  And here it is...

Before I start I am also awaiting delivery of a 'beginners guide to pencil drawing' style book.  This is something of a comfort blanket I think, but I would also like to understand the technicalities of drawing as I don't think I have ever actually been taught how to draw.  The book should arrive any day, and then...I will begin.


I don't have any particular projects in mind but would like to do some sketches of Star and the dogs if I feel I can do them justice.  I would also like to attempt the view from our garden room window.  But I have plenty of getting up to speed to do before then.


So there we are, goal number three posted for posterity.  I'm off to the shed...

New Year Resolution #3

New Year Resolution #2 and a catch up ramble

Well, since my last post on new years day there are so many blog posts I want to do, but as always, so little time.  I was tagged by the lovely Diney to partake in the High five Meme which, for me, is always an honour.  I had also been planning to do a post inspired by the Daily Mail's 'How To Have A Happy Life' article, only to find that The Wife Of Bold has beaten me to it.  All is not lost on this front however as she very kindly turned it into an 'open' meme so that even though I wasn't tagged I can still participate.  Very inclusive I thought ;-)  And then, of course, there is my outstanding list of new year goals which are yet to be posted.


Whilst I will definitely come back to the meme's, and look forward to it, I have decided to prioritise posting my new year goals.  I am posting them one by one so that I can expand on the why and how and believe that this exercise will clarify my thinking and make me more likely to achieve them.  I know this is rather self indulgent but hope you will forgive me ?


So, on with my second goal.  I should say at this point that these numbers are only significant with regard to the order in which I am posting them.  Certainly not any kind of order of importance.


2.  Learn to sew.


Largely due to being inspired by Mad Mummy's ( The Mad House )  learning to sew last year, and her wonderful creations since, I have decided that the time has come for me to do the same.


I have an electric sewing machine in the shed that I bought second hand about 15 years ago and have never used.  Sadly, in my numerous house moves, it is now minus the electric cable and the instruction manual.  However, part one of achieving my goal is to rectify this by taking it to a repair centre to get it serviced and buy a replacement cable.  I also hope to establish the model so that I can source a replacement manual - the internet really is a wonderful thing !


Once I have my sewing machine in working order I can begin to learn to sew and I have enrolled in an online course care of  Valerie at Frugal Family Fun Blog and can't wait to get started.  In the meantime I am looking for a cheap, but good quality and reliable online supplier of all things sewing related, including fabric.  If you know of anywhere, and if I haven't bored you into clicking away and you are still with me perhaps you could leave me a few suggestions ?


The one project that I am wanting to do above anything else is to make Star a xmas stocking/sack with his name on it.  I can already do the embroidery, so just need to make the stocking/sack.  Wish me luck !


PS I do apologise if this post is even more 'rambly' and full of typos than usual.  I am typing this with one one and three quarter eyes on the world darts final and it's gripping !

New Year Resolution #2 and a catch up ramble

New Year Resolution #1

As I have quite an extensive list of new year resolutions  goals I decided that I would post about one each day, thus giving me the opportunity to explain why I have chosen the goal and in some cases how I intend to set about achieving said objective.  To get me into the swing of things I thought I would start with a relatively simple one, so here goes...


1.  To take Star for a walk to feed the ducks at least once, preferably twice, a week.


I am very lucky to live in an area that is both close to London and all the convenience that it brings, but is also rural.  Having spent most of my life living in Devon this is very important to me.  We live less than four miles from the M4 but were delighted to be visited by eight partridges on xmas eve and two deer on xmas morning.


One benefit of living where we do is that there are two council run 'country parks' within a few miles.  Both have a large lake and an abundance of water birds such as ducks, swans, canadian geese and others, are open all year round and are free to use other than paying a small parking charge.  


Star also loves ducks.  Having had three traditional rubber ducks in his bath since he could sit up his second word was 'duck' (his first word was 'wave' or rather 'wabe', as in goodbye - since when has a babies first word been a verb?!) When we go to one of the parks he smiles one of his wide open mouthed smiles as soon as he sees them and his arms and legs start flapping, seemingly uncontrollably, with unbridled joy.


Finally, I have recently started baking bread with the help of my new bread machine.  Star absolutely loves my bread (organic, 65% wholegrain, 35% white), and only my bread, preferably freshly baked and still slightly warm.  My regular readers will know that I am ever so slightly obsessed with healthy eating and good nutrition and so, I feel it is my duty (and one that I enjoy) to provide Star with a fresh baked loaf for his tea every day.  As The Daddy and I eat little bread ourselves this means that I have, on average, half a small loaf left over each day.  The prospect of throwing this away offends me, and so...you've guessed it...it will go to feed the ducks.


So, this seemingly simple goal satisfies so many needs.  Star and I get fresh air, I get exercise, Star and I have a trip out that costs next to nothing, star gets a close up of the ducks, the ducks get fed some glorious bread, and my leftover loaf goes to good use.  Everyone's happy, and that must be a goal worth pursuing.

New Year Resolution #1