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Friday 12 February 2010

It's Been Quite A Day...

Warning.  This post contains New Year Goal #4 information.  


I would like to think that, in some small way, I have been missed today.  You see, I have been absent from blog comments, blog posts and twitter until late this afternoon and now I'm here to tell you why...


It's nothing earth shattering so don't get too excited, but we went for another IUI attempt today.  I haven't blogged about it this time round as I found last time I became a tad obsessed, so have tried to put it to the back of my mind.  Not easy.  At all.  Last time was a miserable failure.  Not only was I not pregnant but I only had a 25 day cycle which is both unheard of for me, and not helpful in reproductive terms.  I had also, with your help, done a spectacularly good job of convincing myself that it was going to be a successful attempt, so when it wasn't I was shocked, and more worryingly disproportionately upset about it.  




The 25 day cycle threw all our plans out of the window as The Daddy was due to be away this week.  Fortunately he was able to come back a day early last night so all was not lost.  So, this morning we packed Star off to the nursery for the day and headed up to London.  The clinic were running late so we had to wait for an hour before The Daddy was called into action.  We then popped out to Starbucks for tea and cake before returning for my bit.  Now the thing is, this IUI is supposed to be painless, and whilst ttc Star it was.  A little uncomfortable but certainly not painful.  Since having Star however I think the weight of carrying him around must have displaced some of my 'lady bits' inside ( I had an elective c-section so it was nothing to do with labour, and pushing, and stitches and all that-euww!)  I have now had one smear test, and three IUI attempts since Star and every time it has been SO painful that it takes all of my self control (and I have ALOT of that) and jaw clenching to stop myself blubbing.  Since the first IUI of this time around I have taken two heavy duty paracetamols whilst at Starbucks and it does just take the edge off but it's still without doubt the most painful thing I have ever experienced.  And all the while I'm thinking 'making a baby shouldn't be like this'.


Anyway, we left the clinic at 1pm and decided that as we didn't have to pick Star up until 6pm we should make the most of it, and went to our favourite local restaurant for lunch.  It's a fabulous little Italian called Ruchetta in Wokingham which we frequent as often as possible.  We had a couple of courses, and I had a couple of G&T's (knowing that my egg is currently floating free and not in contact with my bloodstream in any way) which is a very rare thing for me.  It was a lovely way to de stress from the mornings activities.


We arrived home at about 4pm and picked up Star a little later.  He'd had a fun day, had eaten well, slept well, made us valentine cookies and a card and greeted us with his usual excitement.  It's then that I remembered why I'm putting myself through all this...



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13 comments:

  1. Well, I am sat here crying, sobbing actually. I know I am allowed and all that, but you are so right when you say making a baby shouldnt be like that. It is so hard, I often wish we had more and then remember to be thankful for the two I have. It is all about being strong enough to fail.

    I am glad you made a day of it and have a few drinks and a good meal.

    All our love

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  2. Thinking of you. Enjoy a good snuggle with Star tonight. Mich xx

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  3. I can't imagine what it must be like for you going through that over and over again. As you say though, the end result makes it all worthwhile as Star has proven.

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  4. Oh hon. All I can do is send you positive thoughts and hugs x

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  5. Sending ((hugs)) your way, it must be so hard for you.

    Beki xxx

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  6. Sending positive vibes your way.

    xxxxx

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  7. Oh goodness me, good luck. i hope it works out.

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  8. Sending you prayers hunni that this attempt is successful. Children are so amazingly wonderful and its wonderful when you see them after a hard day and they remind you of all the good things in life.

    Big hugs x

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  9. Sending you lots of love, and re-iterating everything that has been said above xxx

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  11. Still sending you positive thoughts! And there is an award at mine for you :)

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  12. sending good wishes, I have everything crossed for you. xxx

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  13. I'm sorry it's so painful and you are very brave. I have my fingers crossed for you. XX

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